Jan 21.2016 Poem by Starseed Child

her face before I turned and walked out the door, I had to fight this stinging urge to turn around and wrap her in my arms, surround her in warmth only she seems to be able to feel, to keep my promise and whip away every tear that runs down her beautiful skin...im sorry I couldn't keep my promise to never leave you alone, to never let you sink in a ocean of tears and to this day my dreams are devoured by you...our memories, I had to lock them deep inside myself to be able to wake up every morning and keep going through this miserable life without you but oh, how I long to run my fingers through your hair a scoop it up in the palm of my hand, gingerly kissing the tip oh so gently kissing to only hope you feel my love pass through to you. your eyes, hair, skin your everything I love it all and I want to burn it all into my heart, soul and mind so I can never forget nor replace this feeling you blessed me with this treasure you so selflessly gave me without a second thought or any regrets...you gave me something to cherish for now and always, a promise I can keep is to never let it fade away but everyday I wonder, everyday is a 'what if'...I want to wish on the stars every night for me to wake up and none of it be true for it all to be a bad dream, a joke, to wake up and see my beautiful angel sleeping next to me, to gasp you and wrap myself around you like a hopeless, selfish child...my whole world wrapped around you whether your here or gone, until the day I die, the one I love yet cause so much pain I should push these feelings away, I don't deserve them yet I still, I still cling on to them even though no hope remains, yet still I find my body uncontrollably walking toward the only place I've ever known as home, though that hushed hallway up to your doorway, I want to knock and break this hushed silence but I can't move, I desperately want to see your smile...for you to jump in my arms like before that day ever came crashing down on us but what right do I have in asking forgiveness from the person I couldn't keep my I couldn't keep my promise to, as I'm about to vanish in front of your door for the last time I hear it...a sound I wish for, that click of metal, the squeak of that heavy red oak leaving its frame then finally you stand before me...