Unmerited Poem by Scott Federman

Early and late I push the noisy cart down the hall and you know I am coming.
You are not sure where you are, or even who you are.

Sometimes you make no sense when you speak.
I wonder if you remember anything.
Always, I am shocked but delighted when you remember my name.

I see your pain. Sometimes I can comfort you with drugs, sometimes just a smile is all you need.
You have crept up behind me and squeezed my hand followed by a chuckle.
No need for lots of mindless chatter.
Smiles and a hand squeeze communicate just fine.

I am supposed to take care of you but you knew when my day was troubled.
Pulled me by my scrub top down to your wheelchair and hugged me.
You must have read my face.

You are more than twice my age.
I am more than twice your size.
Yelling, grunting and throwing things.
Some fear you, your actions look scary.
Your family fears me.




You're not a leper and you're not a curse but I must avoid you at all costs.
I try not to look your way in hopes that you won't notice me.
It doesn't always work.
I fear that you will feel rejected.


Disease they say it can't be.
It must be something else they insist.
A medicine, the water, the color of the carpet it must be.
Anything but the dreaded old person's disease.

The science means nothing, they have diagnosed.
Your problem they say is my gender.
Their anger is directed at me.
I am guilty of compassion and comfort.

It pains me to wonder at what point does gender no longer matter.
Certainly, at no point in this world.

I am a man and I was your nurse.