Letting Go & Gaining Everything Poem by Julia Woodman

No longer shall I wear
pain, suffering -
these belong to the ego
controller -
distracting from the real
task.
I am an instrument to
transform
energy downwards into
earth, life,
and upwards, as I
observe & feel
myself and the world
in action -
not stifling the flow -
allowing it
as i become the real
me -
interacting with the universe
out & in
just like my conscious
breath.

You don't have to run over
the mountain
to get in - you have to just be
present to everything,
accept the life giving energy inwards
and send it out again
then receive even more
grace.

I am. I have always been.
But I make myself up!
I play a game of life
& the player is part of the game -
the existence of the player just IS
but i make up how I direct
my actions, my thoughts
(whether conscious or unconscious) .

There is a question within me
which cannot be answered.
I don't define it, I simply allow it
to resonate there within me.
I welcome it - its presence.
I don't need to understand it.
I don't fear it, or any response.
I set aside my intellect and just
feel the presence of the question there.
I am not seeking for it to be resolved,
I am simply grateful for its presence -
it GROUNDS me here on earth,
so that I don't fly off too soon -
so that I can witness all these
beautiful things here, and journey
through them, letting them touch me
with their own questions unanswered
too, but moving, astonishing in how
they propel me yet STILL me
as they fill my awareness and move on,
never clashing with my own -
allowing me to look openly into them
without needing anything from them,
just being swept by them
through every neuron and every cell.

I am here, but there is a great force
with me, in every moment renewing
me from top to bottom and up again,
continually, powerfully, carrying me.

I go, like a child in the windswept leaves,
with it, innocent, glad, redeemed.

I feel like the sky, the forest, the sea,
even the earth is mixed in me,
wild and raw, and I accept gratefully
the complete essence of myself.

As I pay attention, I manifest
and express myself on my circular journey,
where all levels of my being unite
with the original current in everything,
vibrating on clear notes in infinite space.