Illusion And Pain Poem by Aaron Weaver

I am so into this feeling that when i come back to myselfI have too chase you again know this feeling is an illusion and then again i don't know where to begin too address this problem, I know it's a problem cause for me their is no solution only an illusion. This illusion feels so good but why does it hurt so much
when the illusion begins to fade, I need get the feel of the illusion again, now the illusion has gone from a good blissful oasis to a painful sore, but why do I want more? Now I am addicted to the pain of an illusion that isn't real, this is how i feel, I feel like a drug addict chasing pain to get away from the pain of being alone in the depths of my own soul.Sleepless nights and cold sweats seem to be part of my addiction but this isn't a drug but an illusion, I am almost afraid to imagine the conclusion to this illusion. Why do i chase the pain of this illusion? When this illusion used to feel so good. No other illusion can make this pain from this illusion go away, where do i go from here?
Is their way to escape this illusion, where can I go im loosing hope I wonder if I should ask but i think the answers no. this feeling is like a slow death where does this illusion go. My heart is torn between the real world and the mist of illusion , I can hardly stand!feeling like i'm going to fall from my own perception and thoughts but look how much this hell of illusion has brought, pain and misery with just a small glimpse of hope happiness so much for this imagery.