The Garden Chair Poem by Joe Hughes

I'm sitting in my Sussex garden
Feeling all alone - yes cold.
Autumn leaves swirl all around me,
In summertime I was so bold.

I am standing to attention
Though I could be folded down.
But my owner just ignores me
Sits inside in dressing gown.

I've served him well at barbeques
Throughout the summer long.
Saw him prancing round the patio
With his sauces, cooking tongs.

I have held some quite strange bottoms.
Fat ones, thin ones, those with piles.
I have seated tarts, yes vicars,
Why! I've even held a child!

My owner's cat has sat upon me
As his ginger coat he preens.
A foot of snow has lain upon me,
A sudden shower has rained me clean.

I'm sitting in my Sussex garden,
Feeling all alone, so sad.
But I could be on the scrapheap
So life for me is not so bad!