Ten Asides For Ten Heads Poem by Sachin Ketkar

i)

The elixir of immortality
In the navel
Of this ten faced world
Has dried out

I place my elongated diabolical fingers
On the navel
And click
But I hear no beep

Its ten thousand windows
Must have crashed
I guess

ii)

You think Ravana was a single person
Or that his world had a single face
Let me point out for your information
His bliss was also ten-faced
His agony was ten-faced too
He used to laugh
In ten different ways
At a single joke
He used to weep
His single grief
In ten different ways

iii)

Go and tell your one-headed Rama
To do whatever he liked in his life
But never try his hand
At poetry

Leave such things
To people like us

And drown himself
In that one-headed Sharayu

iv)

I have seen this world
Ten times more than you have
I have perceived clearly
With my twenty eyes
How all things have ten sides

Pray tell me then
How can I shed light
On my ten-headed world
With your one-headed language?

How can I express
What I feel about Sita?
How can I explain
What I felt
When they humiliated my sister?

My mother tongue
Has ten grammatical numbers

How will I write poetry
In your language
Which has only two?

v)

Valmiki must have managed somehow
To write the flat one-headed story
Of Rama's life

But kindly assign
The job of writing
My authorized biography
To Vyasa

And appoint ten Ganeshas
As his stenographer
For composing this Maha-Lanka

vi)

Your three stepped syllogism
Is useless
When it comes to understanding me

The seven-stepped logic
Of the Jainas
Is equally futile

Discover first
A ten part syllogism
Invent first a language
With ten grammatical numbers for me

Bury your mono-directional
Monotonous language first

Toss away the formula
Of the Rama nama chant
And recognize me
As the true Deity of your heart

Because
With my single head
I can watch ten different channels
At a time on the TV

At a time
I can browse
At least ten different brands in the mall

I can chat at least
With ten different people
At a time

I can discuss twenty different topics
With twenty different people
With my twenty cell phones
On my twenty ears

vii)

Welcome, folks to my palace
Look at my well furnished bathroom
But I hope you won't be so stupid
As to ask me why
There are ten mirrors here
Or ten tooth brushes
Or mouth fresheners of ten different flavours
Or ten tongue cleaners here

My soul is dual-core
Multi-tasking is my very nature

viii)

My mother had only two breasts
Women unfortunately just have two
That's the reason why
I need either
Ten women at a time
Or a single complete woman
With ten hands and ten breasts

However, I feel Lord Shambhunath
Has benevolently obliged womankind
By not creating such women

Had he made such a woman
We would have committed
Atrocities on her ten times over

Indeed
Even if men have a single organ
Their hunger is of ten different kinds
Their thirst has ten faces
Conversant as I am
With these things
In my old age
I am planning to write
For the ten-headed men
A different Kamsutra with ten sutras

Book your copy today
And get a prepublication discount
On my autographed copy

Ten conditions, of course
Apply.

ix)

You must have realized by now
That this glossy resplendent world
Is my empire

My close circuit cameras
Watch over all ten directions

I have detailed information
About what you do
Or do not do
In the mall

This world is my circular prison
All of you are my unknowing prisoners
My innumerable cameras
Keep a close watch
Over your every move
Over infinitesimal vibration of your thought
If you do anything out of the way
Mind you
You will have to face me

x)

However,
Only I know my true tragedy

Your one-headed Rama
Could never fathom my secret
His puritan Brahmastra
Could never find its way to my navel
As he never knew
Where it was

My heart has sprouted ten heads too
I sit and cry
In the ten-headed darkness

This Sharayu of yours
Is made of my ten types of tears
I have cried
Till my heart has turned schizophrenic

You alone can find my navel
And free me of my ten souls
Or else in the end
I will have to commit
Postmodern Harakiri myself