Sweet Fantasy Poem by Leigh Ladd

I stand in the doorway,
See the morning sunlight on his face.
Looking at all of the mess
Of blood and broken glass.
Damn, now there's a stain on my sheets,
He doesn't even have the decency
To hemorrhage on the plastic that's laid out.
All I can hear
Are his shallow breaths,
And his weak moans.
Leaning down to see his eyes,
He looks at me and asks, 'Why? '

With a sly smile I recall the details to him.
The lies that were told,
Memories erased.
Shots of other women,
No want to be side by side.
Flowers that he bought,
But failed to make it home to me.
Not a reason to care,
Trying to make me go insane.
The love that was lost,
Or better yet,
The love that wasn't even there.

As I lay down beside him,
And look into his eyes,
His breathing diminishing,
I let him see one last smile.
The smile I had the day we wed,
Same as the days of the births.
The one I used when I would forgive him,
And the lone one I give upon his death.

Now that his blood
Is no longer pumping through his veins,
I can finally relax
And let go of my pain.
I invested too many years,
He basically took my life.
My killing him is not any different,
Than the hurt he gave to me.
Unfortunately I wake,
It was only a dream.
As sad as it may appear,
A wonderfully sweet fantasy.