Psalm - This Lonely Heart Poem by Boston Kelley

This lonely heart of mine;
so greatly it longs to be comforted.
Anguish and despair are my companions;
hopelessness and loneliness its forebears.
A helpless prey am I that any predator
could easily vanquish.
Dark thoughts cover my mindscape;
powerful torrents of shame rain down
on my psychological gardens.
They poison the fields of happiness
and rot out the plants of joy; what was
once a flourishing land is reduced to
swamp.

Lord, you are near to the brokenhearted,
yet you seem so far.
You bandage grievous wounds yet mine
remain open.
A God of comfort you are, who comforts
all who experience troubles; comfort is an
unwelcome visitor in my heart.
Why do you feel so distant?
How can I feel so far from you?
A pit I have dug myself into, far removed
from the soothing light of your presence.
Shame and guilt delight in their tormenting
power, exercising it in full upon me, their
most cherished victim.
A divide sits between you and me, Lord;
one that I fail to cross and seem unable to.
How could even you conquer that canyon
and reach your suffering creation?

Naive, I call myself,
Trusting, I think I am,
Compassionate, I take delight in being,
Lonely, I wail at being.
A female companion does my heart long for,
my God, a woman who would cherish me.
You know my every desire and thought,
as you know my comings and goings and
risings and fallings.
All parts of my being you know and made in
great detail; all of my suffering and anguish
is before you.
Temptation creeps about me, stalking me
like an obsessed lover.
His eyes look upon me and see a potential
will he can sway; a formless lump of clay
waiting to be shaped.
The sensual he carries with him whose
pleasing nature makes all knees buckle.
I cannot evade him, God, nor can I vanquish
him.
Battles with him I wage,
many of which I do not fully surrender,
but he triumphs even in my partial surrender.

I know your promises and truths, Lord,
they are delightful and great in awe and wonder.
They are written on my mind and firm
in my knowledge, but my heart
is calloused to their power.
I know them and see them
while my heart fails to be moved,
unable to experience their emotional power.

A light to my dark room are you, God,
A guide to my wandering self.
Direct me back to you
and wipe clean this great aloneness.
Let my soul be comforted in your presence,
knowing you are all I need.