Psalm - A Roiling Storm Poem by Boston Kelley

A tempest of emotions surround me
bathing me in grief unimaginable.
A flood of hopelessness rises from this
tempest's downpour; I drown beneath
the waters.
Dark is the world within those waters like
the blackness that consumes my mind;
shine a light if you are eager and see
it extinguished like a fire.

A hopeless man am I, my God;
the years before me do not lend me joy.
A long life you say is a reward,
yet a struggle it only seems to be.
Rejoice should we do for this is the day You
have, but grieving is all I long for.
Knocked down am I by the powers of despair
that no will is left in me to rise.
Optimism has left this body with pessimism
eager to take its place.
Unique interests and desires have you given
me, Lord, but non can appeal to this
saddened psyche;
The great happenings in life that shine with
great joy cannot pierce the pitch-blackness
of this mind.

Great are Your truths, Lord,
that no heart can stand unmoved.
Amazing are the joys that come from following
You which transform the most twisted souls.
All this I know, God, but do not feel in my heart.
You exhort us to love You with our whole being,
but I shudder.
A path of devotion many take and find You,
yet my feet do not yearn to tread that ground.
The spirit of a truth-seeker resides in me,
but it shudders when it hears You're Truth.

What has become of me that I
cannot will myself to pray?
I long to be compassionate and forgiving
not for You but for me.
Have I transformed into something You abhor?
Where could this sudden dislike and irritation
of some have emanated from?
A kind and caring individual I've been told I am;
I wail at my ability to do evil.

Storms will pass,
Disasters come to an end,
Conflicts fade away.
Let the storms that surround me, God,
break at Your command.
Let the blackness that has overcome
me flee at the sight of Your radiance.
Even in these dark days, I believe and hope
that I will be put back on a firm foundation.