Never Fade Poem by Angel Gibbs

Why does it feel like the pain will never fade
I'm always in the rain and this game left has played on me
time and time again is getting pretty lame
It's time for me to take a stand but idk if I can cause every time I try
my thoughts get rewired and when my heart says show,
my brain says no. So I break; break down into pieces that I feel will never be connected; connected like they once were when innocence was bliss and bliss wasn't like this.
This; this is soo many things it's hard for me to explain
My feelings, my thoughts, my heart, my soul, my life, this time is such a big dark hole.
This was never my role, to sit here and stay quiet through all my trials of all the lies and deceit that people brought to me.
Just leave me be! Let Go and Let GOD!
But don't hit me with the rod that I feel when your judgmental eyes fall upon me and I don't feel like the perfect prize; for you, for me, for any human being.
But I know even when we don't see things in the same way.
I will Never Fade, into the blackness of things because I know now high I can fly and when I'm sitting on cloud 9 up in the sky your eyes wont be there to peer at me, only the ones of the man who matters, who will see me as me and not as the 'Perfect Angel' I think you want me to be so I say these words to you now and forever, take your hand off the lever and watch me soar while not worrying about your mighty roar because all it does is kill my insides when all I wanna do is FLY....