My Heart Belongs To Him Poem by Miiya Skky

Existing in this world no longer feels like reality, I'm starting to wish I could stay with you forever in my dreams.
Waking up is becoming more painful then ever because each time I realize the dream was never real.
I try every day to seem normal to the living to make sure my pain is well hidden or the fact of everyone knowing I still haven't let you go.
I know you don't care, probably don't even love me anymore.
I know I wasn't the easiest person to love, I tend to over think, at times I overreacted more then I should of.
And every once in a while I may have been a little insecure, only because I was in love with you.
Being here in this life no longer seems happy having to live without you, my dreams became my best friend, my comfort, my home. I always felt so happy there because it was the only place I was able to be with you.
If I was to shut my eyes I could clearly remember every little memory of our past together, every facial expression you made, even the sound of your voice when you would talk.
I always told myself if I could be with anyone it would still be you.
If that chance did ever come for me, to be with you again even if it was just for a day I'd still take it. The day we said our goodbyes was probably the most painfullest feeling I have ever felt, loving you and walking away was beyond torture.
A part of me wanted to let you go, to forget you ever even existed to just stop loving you.
The biggest part of me wouldn't let me forget.
You taught me what love was suppose to really feel like and because of my past, letting my guard down was what tore us apart. I broke my heart while breaking yours and I hated myself everyday for the pain I caused.
I cannot un love you, I cannot forget the way your voice sounded every time you told me you loved me. I cannot forget the way you looked when you were asleep beside me, I cannot forget those golden green eyes and the smile that could melt anyone's heart. I cannot get you out of my head, believe me I tried many times and all it does is kill me inside.
We could of worked through everything and become stronger as we continued a life together.
My memories of you will keep me falling in love everyday for you. My every breathe I will miss you more to a point where it gets to painful to ignore.
You will always be my favorite memory, the dream I'd never forget.
I may not of had the words to say that day, To have made everything better.
I was so scared because you meant everything to me, you were every thought that passed through my head, everything I needed and everything I ever wanted.
But there was nothing I could have done at that moment to have stopped it. All I was able to do was sit back, go on continuing my life, knowing that inside it was killing me.
I will forever be waiting for the chance that I can make everything right. To have my arms awaiting to hold you, the lips to kiss you, the heart to tell you everyday how much I love you..
My heart will forever remain yours, until my time here is done. Even then you'd have the heart of an angel.