HER WORDS RETURN Poem by Masayo Koike

I have few friends
Among my few friends Miss Jôgasaki
Liked bright, easy to understand
Flowers like gerberas
She had no dark side
I am not Mino Monta* but
No matter how old she got
I wanted to call her ‘young lady'
Once in our workplace many of us played a game of depth psychology
fortune-telling
Each item had a picture and a question and you had to write a simple
comment and answer
Later the meanings of the pictures were revealed
For example, the number of flowers indicated the number of future
children one might have
It was just a stupid game but all of a sudden everyone got excited
Normally she stood apart from others and was a quiet, still person but
Unexpectedly she joined in the game

And
One of the items
Had the words
‘I want to do it' attached
This was hidden from the group but
It was actually an item measuring one's sex drive
When this was revealed
Miss Jôgasaki cast her eyes down completely lost her presence of mind
and grew horribly embarrassed
We felt as if we had committed a terrible sin

Miss Jôgasaki died soon after from uterine cancer
I suppose she was a few years over forty
She remained single and never suffered in her life so
She always looked no more than twenty-five

Sometimes
Her words come to me
In a casual way as if someone had forgotten a delivery
Again and again as if her words were not quite there
From the other world
They lightly arrive ah, they've come, then, when I am quiet
Like potato starch dissolving in water
The grief slowly settles at the bottom
I know that the surface of this world grows more and more transparent
I too with my eyes downcast
Fervently
Wait
For something to pass through me