God's Plan For Me Poem by Dana Wilson

So I'm at work trying to leave for lunch when my coworker says we have another kid acting out
Now I'm caught up in this bathroom with this little kid being tossed up turned up, pushed up, flipped up
Against a wall and I'm trying to figure out what was this all about
BUT LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT WAS THE BEGINNING OF JUST ONE OF GOD'S PLAN FOR ME
So this kid is screaming at me
Yelling at me
Kicking me
Biting me
Saying you don't care about me at all
Then he jerks back and I get slammed up against a wall
I felt it a bite on my shoulder
On my back
I let him go and asked myself what was that
But before I could check it out
Here we go again
He is kicking me
Biting me
Slapping me
Screaming and yelling you don't care about me
Now I'm thinking to myself, I know I should have just left for lunch and never came back in to help out
BUT GOD HAD A PLAN FOR ME
Well that ended and a couple of days went by
This Huge blister appears so I'm like oh My
STILL NOT KNOWING BUT GOD HAD A PLAN FOR ME
So I go to the doctor to get this checked out
The doctor looks at me and says "Well Mam What do we have here"
She drains the blister and shows me the stinger
So I'm like WOW that's what you took out
Well she gives me antibiotics and tells me in a week all the infection will clear out
I have no doubt
BUT I STILL DID NOT KNOW GOD HAD A PLAN FOR ME
So I took the antibiotic faithfully
Because my trust then was in the antibiotic and the doctor you see
And the blister did heal,
Into a lump that form a bump that had me in so much pain
But I was still to stubborn to call out Jesus name
Instead I went to church singing about the Hallelujah's and Amen's and Thank You Jesus' on and on
Even went to the second service and continue singing about the Hallelujah's and Amen's and Thank You Jesus' on and on
But still having complete faith in my doctor that the pain will be all gone
So a couple of days later still while suffering in pain
I go back to the doctor again
Paying another co-pay again
She is asking me what is going on
And I'm like you told me that this should be gone
So I began to cry and pout
So now she says let me do a small cut and then I will drain it out
She cut it and squeezed it but nothing but blood came out
DIDN'T I TELL YOU GOD HAD A PLAN FOR ME
So she prescribes me more antibiotics and pain meds and instructs my husband that a warm towel on the cut could also help to take the pain away
She tells me when and how to take meds and bandage me up and with a tap on the shoulder she sends me on my way
So now I'm at home in so much pain
It has me feeling like I'm going in sane
But I still have not called him for help not even mention his name
My husband, My Superman is by my side, he is there for me
He does all the things the doctor says to try and comfort me
My children are checking in on me
Everyone was there for me
And so was the pain in my back,
That rolled down my arm and made my fingers closed up as the pain rolled back
Back up into my neck, into the back of my head
Now I'm thinking if I don't get this out of me I know I gone be dead
REMEMBER GOD HAD A PLAN FOR ME
So here we go again
Back at the doctor again
Paying another co-pay again
She looks at me and says your back to soon what's going on
So now I'm like hold up doc you have slice and dice my back squeeze and squeeze at that
And now you're looking at me and asking me what's going on
So I pull my shirt back
She looks at it and steps back
And says we have a bigger problem with that
So she sends me down to the surgeon
So I go down to the surgeon office
He takes notice that I'm in so much pain
I cannot move my left arm, because of the pain
I cannot turn my head, because of the pain
He pulls my shirt and says lets see here
And immediately decides we have to do surgery my dear
So I look at my husband as the tears roll and I say man what's up with that
He tells me it's gonna be alright he is gonna take the infection out of your back
GOD'S PLAN GOES INTO FULL FORCE
So I check into the hospital in pain
Their trying to draw blood from me but they cannot find a vein,
Their squeezing picking and poking, and poking and picking acting like they don't understand my pain
All because they cannot find a vein
And guess what through it all I still did not call out his name
So I have the surgery
It goes well and now I'm in recovery
They are giving me pain medication
Did I mention I hate taking pain medication
I'm starting to have hallucination
HERE GOES GOD'S PLAN, your ready stay with me
Now each day some one is there with me
Encouraging me
Helping me
Talking with me
Staying over night with me
People calling me
Wishing me well
And that was beautiful and just what I needed but the last night in the hospital I was not feeling so
well
My Superman was at home tending to the kids
My friends had had gone
My family live out of town
I felt like my world was turned upside down
I'm in this cold hospital room
In so much pain,
The nurses comes and put pain medications through the iv in my vein
As I look around this hospital room I'm so cold so alone
No one is answering their phone
My Superman has to be up early for work
My friends have to work
My kids have school
This feeling was so not cool
I look around that room
And I began to think, and felt so lost so alone
The pain increases
My blood pressure is very high
And I began to question him why
Why am I alone
Why am I going through this pain
Then my phone began to ring
I lean over to grab it and it falls
So I miss my call
Now I'm guessing that they will think that I'm resting
So I'm angry mad
And that phone call was from my dad
So now I cannot reach the phone because its on the floor
The nurse has closed my door
I began to ask God why have you done this to me
What did I do to make you hate me
I'm tossing and turning in all this pain
I want to pull out my hair because it feels like I'm going in sane
I do what's right,
I go to church
I keep my children in church
So like the kid that was
Hitting me
Kicking me
I felt his pain you see
Because like him I felt like God did not care about me
Why have you left me
Alone
Alone
Alone
Why have you left me alone
This is why I can not trust in you
I always end up broken, confused, and alone
As I laid there and cried
I began to have a memory
Of my grandmother telling me to trust in his word
Of my aunt telling me to believe in his word
Of my pastor telling me you can find what you need in his word
But you must believe
So I began to talk to God asking him to stay with me
Letting him know that I believe
I believe that he will walk with me
He will stay with me
When every one else has left you are still with me
My pastor has told me several times that all I need to do was call on him
So in the mist of my pain
I began to call on his name
I began to recite these words of Psalms 23
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:
for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
That cold room became warmer
That uncomfortable bed became comfortable
That pain in my back that ran down to my arms and back up to my head was now dead
I felt so warm and safe
I could almost feel the tears get wiped out of my face
As I slept I felt no pain
And it didn't take that medication running through my vein
Because you see God had a plan for me

Let me recap for you
He used a little boy to act out, which led to a little spider coming out
To bite me, it form into a blister which the doctor drained out
Only to form into a lump that form into a bump
That lead me to have surgery so I could find and recover
The love that God has for me
See God wanted me to know that he is here
That he loves me dear
That when no one else is around he is always near
So the next day I went home
Knowing that I would never be alone
A couple of days later I went to the doctor
And he tells me it gonna leave a big scar on your back
He told me that he had an ointment that could smooth out that
Then I stepped back
I told him that was ok because it is a reminder that when I'm feeling
Lonely, broken, and lost and confused' it's a reminder that
God will always have my back