Gizza Job Poem by Kevin Eaglesfield

I've had a few, but not much luck;
Started with a builder,
But the business went to the wall,
Then the lingerie factory where I worked went bust.
I didn't pass the refresher course at the sweet factory
And the fishmonger's wasn't my sort of place.
My soul wasn't in it.
Next a bathroom fitter,
But the company went down the pan.
I worked for a very bad vet-too many put downs.
Dustman-the job was rubbish.
Coal man-I got the sack,
And I sensed my number was up at the bingo hall.
Tried a book shop,
But the looks I got spoke volumes.
I never saw eye-to-eye with the optician,
And the dentist always looked down in the mouth.
As a chiropodist I refused to toe the line,
And I couldn't hack it as a lumberjack.
Mind you, I came out with a nice package
When I left the courier firm.
Had some unusual jobs too;
Worked as a clown for a while,
But the boss was a bit funny.
Then I was a clairvoyant's assistant, but she had to
Let me go due to unforseen circumstances.
I just couldn't get on at the riding school,
And definitely couldn't cut it as a barber.
The phone shop I briefly tried
Called in the receivers.
Not long ago I started at an estate agents,
But ended up going round the houses,
Then my next job was at the egg packers.
Wasn't all it was cracked up to be and I was laid off.
Lastly, the laundry, which took me down a peg or two
When the business folded.
Now I seem hard pressed
To find another job.