Dreams On Fire Poem by Sheeya Hacks
Dreams On Fire
In dreams of fire, my passions would ignite,
but alas, life's grip keeps me tight,
I yearn to soar, to conquer and thrive,
but duty's shackles keep my dreams deprived.
On my tippy toes, I dance in disguise,
serving others with false smiles and lies,
their commands dictate my every move,
my own desires, they swiftly disapprove.
I live to please, to fulfill their needs,
but my own ambitions forever recede,
as I toil and labor, always for others,
I question if this is all my life smothers.
Oh, the irony that I live to serve,
yet the life I crave, I can't preserve,
my dreams, like embers, flicker and fade,
while for everyone else, I am their aid.
Perhaps one day, I'll break free from this role,
unleash the fire burning deep in my soul,
till then, I'll continue this life's charade,
a servant to others but never truly paid.
In new format of PH you need to vote for self so that your poems gets noticed, I hate but can't undo.
Giving YOURSELF 'high marks' to get MORE attention is 'legitimate' I think, but try to NOT ABUSE that option! : )
Line 16: 'aid' vs 'aide', ....both are 'good words', but differ some from each other. Which one do YOU feel better with in your poem?
We all are servent of fate and our own choices. Good Luck, you are serving mankind for good.
I think this is outstanding, I wouldn't change a thing, be yourself, it seems everybody is missing the whole point of this poem, always doing for others at the sacrifice of your own expense, very good poem
Magnificent, Sheeya. This reminds me that one's dream may be another's nightmare.
Well, I assume you receive 'paychecks', unless YOUR work is done as a volunteer! I'm a little 'torn' between giving 4 OR 5 stars. Hmm? I give FIVE. bri : )
stanza 4: I 'LOVE' this stanza's last 2 lines. And I say you should: 1 - STOP using a comma after EACH LINE! 2 - Be more careful with the placement of any comma you use. : ) It may not be 'easy' for YOU. {or is Bri doing it 'wrong'? }
DID I TYPE line 12 or line 16 before THIS comment? ? I wanted to type 'line 12'. RE the same line [ 12 ].....I reread it & NOW think you 'should' SIMPLY delete the word 'is'.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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5/3/2024 12:14:44 AM # 1.0.0.1119
I SAY: Sheeya, I think you SHOULD rework/revise/edit line 12! ! You do NOT 'HAVE TO' use 'smothers'. You don't have to have a rhyme! ! HAVE TO