Acceptance Poem by Mpheng Magome

I hope it's coming soon.
I think it might already be here.
I thought it would be more pleasant and peaceful,
but it is better than using every day to disappear.

I keep having these dreams.
In all of them, I'm screaming.
But I need to sleep, so I have to find a way
to deal with all the things I am feeling.

I'm not over him.
I'm not over him either.
I don't know if it is possible to love two people
at the same time, but I'm getting over neither.

I won't talk about it.
I won't ever have to.
This is just another darkness to add to my life,
Yet another thing I'll have to get through.

I haven't forgiven myself.
I don't think I ever will.
Or maybe this is just the next stage
and forgiveness is a little further uphill.