Mr. Handsome

This morning I awaken with you on my mind,
Giving thanks to the Lord for being so kind.
Always in control our paths He aligned
And brought me a love I never expected to find.
...

I'm not one to give my heart away,
I stopped believing in love years ago.
Then I met you and my heart wouldn't stay,
It chose to follow you and refused to go slow.
...

...

I battle my mind, though today it is winning.
I wrestle each thought, but it's me that they're pinning.
The day is upon me, i knew it'd soon come,
And this opponent I can run from.
...

I spoke with the voice and it told me it's plan.
"Go on, try and stop me. You're only a man.
You may be her future, but I'll keep her in the past.
I make her wear depression and doubt, no eyes haveth this mask."
...

In the shadows stands the Goyle mocking,
With its fiendish eyes my every move stalking.
The sound of its discourse clouding my reasoning.
I'm penetrated by fear, as I feel my spirit weakening.
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If happiness is a choice, did I pick this instead?
Of all the choices, did I pick to be dead?
I select it so often you could say it's an obsession,
To be mauled by this beast some call depression.
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WHen it comes to my words I have no finesse,
Often I struggle my thoughts to express,
I construct the attempt, but create only a mess.
Playing with checkers while Life's playing chess.
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I scream from my depth but at the surface
Bubbles only silence,
As I scour my thoughts for peace
Amongst their sea of violence.
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Sinking down the river,
Pockets filled with lead.
I fight to stay here,
As I return to the Dead.
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Once upon a time I made a prayer,
and waited patiently even through my dispair.
For I knew one day on my path I'd be, and He
would bring her there.
...