Tick- Tock, Wretched Watch(A Fantasy) Poem by Practicing Poetess
Tick- Tock, Wretched Watch(A Fantasy)
Jeremy often would daydream
Of going back in a time machine
Young widower, who'd lost his wife
Would wish to bring her back to life.
One day at work, in lunch-hour haste,
He dropped his watch, ruining its face.
The hands were stopped at 12 high noon
Time to return to work, and soon!
Next day, what a surprise in store!
He found it was the day before!
And time moved backward, day-by-day,
'Til he was with his precious Rae.
Content to gaze in Rachel's eyes
And listen to his darling's sighs.
As time receded, every day,
He knew he'd lose beloved Rae
Go back to when his life was cruel
And boys made fun of him at school
His drunken father smacked his face
And he relived his past disgrace.
Oh, how he wished he could return
To his old life, for which he yearned.
be glad all daydreams don't come true
They could become a curse to you!
Such an engaging topic for me, as I have two watches, one silver the other gold-plated. I wish that time would either stop or go backwards, as happened to your character, Jeremy; he is more complex than most characters in poetry, I think. Very assured use of four-lined stanzas that still shout and whisper.
Just be sure, Michael, not to accidentally drop or break either of your watches! Because that is where the trouble began! Thanks for your comment!
Yeah, but don't watch it just before bedtime! Becca, do you remember the Twilight Zone about the magic stopwatch which would freeze-frame the whole world (stop everything) ? I think that must have subconsciously been in my mind when I wrote this poem. Except that mine is a wristwatch, and it doesn't stop time, it makes it go backward.
Ever So Beautifully Created! ! ! ! ! Woven And Weaved! ! ! ! ! Straight Into The Hearts Of Those Who Read! ! ! ! ! Very Beautiful Sentiments! ! ! ! ! Thank You Ever So Much For Sharing This! ! ! ! ! Absolutely Wonderful! ! ! ! ! Ever So Very Many 10S! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! +++++
Wow, Bec, if you laid the praise on any heavier, it would break my back! ; One thing about you- - You don't 'half-step.' You give something your all, whether it's your writing or your appreciation of others' writing! Thanks so much!
The poems structural crafting is virtually flawless, with 22 of 24 lines sporting exactly 8 syllables & providing the poem with a flux & cadence e suited for both lyric and literature.Overall, the work was clad with polish & panache. But, I must warn you: If you continue to pump out pen-gems like this, you will have to change your sign-off from Practicing to Perfecting Poetess. You Rock, Missy! FjR
Thank you so much, Frank, for the expert analysis! I feel as though I just received a high mark from a professor! I also feel as though I'm producing real poetry now, as opposed to mere light emotional fluff. Thank you for making my day! :)
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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5/3/2024 1:02:28 AM # 1.0.0.1119
He found the surprise day before. This was definitely very amazing. Jeremy's daydream was wonderfully scribbling but there was no possibility that it would come true. They could become curse too. An amazing thought provoking and thoughtful poem is brilliantly penned that representd fantasy...10
Thank you so much, Kumar, for taking the time to read and comment!