Thoughts On My Open Marriage Poem by Erin Cowart

I find it strange to be sitting
In the restaurant with you
Where last night you sat with another

The stories we tell ourselves
To pretend we're ok
Are necessary lies

Married for 23 years
No wonder you crave
Something else

And all this makes no sense
For two people who love
Or maybe it makes better sense

You cannot be all things to all people
Even if you want to be
And who says that you want to be

So I will sit in my seat
You will sit in yours
And we will tell stories

How the kids have been
When the bills are due
Who asked who for sex last

Then we will move on
To more important stories
Those that can only be shared in the dark

How attractive he was
In to whips and chains
Will you see him again

Promises of loyalty will be spoken
Always dutiful to each other and family
Plans for the future just for laughs

How do you think this will play out
Will there be a winner and a loser
I hate losing

In this game
I know I will lose
So why play

Play along just enough
So that the story can stand
And I cannot appear to be broken

Tell myself stories
About how I will win
And maybe meet someone for dinner myself

But I was always solitary
And that won't change now
So why pretend

This game is just for you
You play well
I have to admire it

Or do I?