The Story Of Suicide Sal (Bonnie's Gangster Gal Alter Ego) Poem by Bonnie Elizabeth Parker

BONNIE'S OWN POEM

01:
We each of us have a good ''alibi''
For being down here in the ''joint''
But few of them really are justified
If you get right down to the point

02:
You've heard of a woman's glory
Being spent on a ''downright cur''
Still you can't always judge the story
As true, being told by her

03:
As long as I've stayed on this ''island''
And heard ''confidence tales'' from each ''gal''
Only one seemed interesting and truthful-
The story of ''Suicide Sal''

04:
Now ''Sal'' was a gal of rare beauty
Though her features were coarse and tough
She never once faltered from duty
To play on the ''up and up''

05:
''Sal'' told me this tale on the evening
Before she was turned out ''free''
And I'll do my best to relate it
Just as she told it to me

06:
I was born on a ranch in Wyoming
Not treated like Helen of Troy
I was taught that ''rods were rulers''
And ''ranked'' as a greasy cowboy

07:
Then I left my old home for the city
To play in it's mad dizzy whirl
Not knowing how little of pity
It holds for a country girl

08:
There I fell for ''the line'' of a ''henchman''
A ''professional killer'' from ''Chi''
I couldn't help loving him madly
For him even I would die

09:
One year we were desperately happy
Our ''ill gotten gains'' we spent free
I was taught the ways of the ''underworld''
Jack was just like a ''God'' to me

10:
I got on the ''F.B.A.'' payroll
To get the ''inside lay'' of the ''job''
The bank was ''turning big money''!
It looked like a ''cinch for the mob''

11:
Eighty grand without even a ''rumble''
Jack was last with the ''loot'' in the door
When the ''teller'' dead-aimed a revolver
From where they forced him to lie on the floor

12:
I knew I had only a moment-
He would surely get Jack as he ran
So I ''staged'' a ''big fade out'' beside him
And knocked the forty-five out of his hand

13:
They ''rapped me down big'' at the station
And informed me that I'd get the blame
For the ''dramatic stunt'' pulled on the ''teller''
Looked to them, too much like a ''game''

14:
The ''police'' called it a ''frame up''
Said it was an ''inside job''
But I steadily denied any knowledge
Or dealings with ''underworld mobs''

15:
The ''gang'' hired a couple of lawyers
The best ''fixers'' in any mans town
But it takes more than lawyers and money
When Uncle Sam starts ''shaking you down''

16:
I was charged as a ''scion of gangland''
And tried for my wages of sin
The ''dirty dozen'' found me guilty-
From five to fifty years in the pen

17:
I took the ''rap'' like good people
And never one ''squawk'' did I make
Jack ''dropped himself'' on the promise
That we make a ''sensational break''

18:
Well, to shorten a sad lengthy story
Five years have gone over my head
Without even so much as a letter-
At first I thought he was dead

19:
But not long ago I discovered
From a gal in the joint named Lyle
That Jack and his ''moll'' had ''got over''
And were living in true ''gangster style''

20:
If he had returned to me sometime
Though he hadn't a cent to give
I'd forget all the hell that he's caused me
And love him as long as I lived

21:
But there's no chance of his ever coming
For he and his moll have no fears
But that I will die in this prison
Or ''flatten'' this fifty years

22:
Tomorrow I'll be on the ''outside''
And I'll ''drop myself'' on it today
I'll ''bump 'em'', if they give me the ''hot squat''
On this island out here in the bay...

23:
The iron doors swung wide next morning
For a gruesome woman of waste
Who at last had a chance to ''fix it''
Murder showed in her cynical face

24:
Not long ago I read in the paper
That a gal on the East Side got ''hot''
And when the smoke finally retreated
Two of gangdom were found ''on the spot''

25:
It related the colorful story
Of a ''jilted gangster gal''
Two days later, a ''sub-gun'' ended
The story of ''Suicide Sal''

END


Historical Note:

In this poem Bonnie uses a fantasy bank heist to describe how she would function as a gangster gal, with ''Suicide Sal'' being her alter ego, while ''Jack'' in the poem is Clyde Barrow.

The first known version of ''Suicide Sal'' appears as the first of ten poems written by Bonnie into her First National Bank Of Burkburnett Texas bank book while she was in the Kaufman County Jail in April May and June 1932.

Bonnie's bank account was opened and her bank book sent to her, around the time she started work at Marco's Cafe at the beginning of 1928, by her uncle Floyd Parker (brother of her father Charles Parker) , who lived in Burkburnett Texas. Women at this time could not generally open their own bank account, they had to get a man to open the bank account for them.

This final and more polished version was captured by police in Joplin Missouri in April 1933 and published in newspapers at that time.


01:
Bonnie acknowledges that ultimately most of the people in jail, deserve to be there. She also notes however in another poem ''The Prisoner'' that there are quite a few people who have been deprived of their freedom consequent to being 'tried unjustly' for crimes they did not do.

02:
Bonnie touches again on her abandonment by her ''downright cur'' husband Roy.

03:
Bonnie implores that unlike other gals tales, her tale is true.

04:
Bonnie touches again on her negative 'self-image' issues, that she considers her features course and tough. Bonnie tells that she's always striving to be the best she can be. She was the top of her class at school, the friendliest most willing to please waitress and the best company to the various men she accompanied. Now she was going to be the best 'gangster gal'.

06:
Bonnie tells that she was not happy with the way she was treated out there in her 'Wyoming' (code for out there on her grand parent's little rented farmstead across the Trinity river in rural West Dallas) . She felt that she ''ranked'' as a ''greasy cowboy'', in other words she felt that her extended family impressed on her the huge favor and charity they were doing to her by taking her in after her father died. A daughter and her children were customarily considered by many families as secondary to a son and his children. So Bonnie gained the impression that they acted like they were keeping 'tabs' on everything they were spending on her like she was some undeserving leacher. It's quite likely that Bonnie's relatives did not see the 'sum total' of their actions leaving such an impression on Bonnie, but a child is very sensitive.

Her mother Emma was away at work every day and Bonnie was at the mercy of her other relatives. As a result Bonnie developed a clinginess to her mother as her only trusted 'champion' in the 'sea' of relatives.

A story Emma relates in 'Fugitives' is telling, where Bonnie keeps getting her pencil stolen at school (she was only allowed one pencil every two weeks) , and they keep spanking Bonnie at home for 'not being able to hold on to her pencil', until Bonnie gets angry enough and beats up those stealing her pencil. Her mother Emma says that Bonnie 'fought her way through school' and was always in scrapes of some sort. Yet Bonnie was the top of her class and the interschool junior 'spelling-bee' champion. It seems that Bonnie found her 'escape' in learning.

That Bonnie often paid out of her own money for food she gave free to people who claimed to be penniless and starving, while she worked at Marco's Cafe, seems to have been her way of 'overcompensating' for the meanness she felt she suffered as a child. Bonnie's ability to give money back to her mother, from her cut of the money from the gang's ''jobs'' throughout her time on the run, was her way of repaying her mother and showing how kind she could in turn be, when she had the means to be. Bonnie's sister Billie described Bonnie as a 'kind' person. Blanche noted Bonnie could be mean. From the above, obviously both are true. Bonnie's excessive kindness to others was an 'overcompensation for her own hurt inside'.

Bonnie came as a small child to live with her maternal Krause family headed by her German grandfather Frank Krause. It was a family, mostly consisting of women, run strictly, with order. All the women were quite attractive and no one got special treatment there because of it, no one was treating anyone like 'Helen of Troy'.

Bonnie had a conventional happy, sheltered, safe childhood, but money was short and the family lived a very planned and austere existence. Then she got married to get the love she craved but her husband Roy abandoned her. She then went to work for a Macedonian Greek family at Marco's Cafe and had a 'culture shock' with how the Greek family acted compared with her own Germanic family. She then met Clyde and through him his old-fashioned Texas tenant farmer family which was another 'culture shock' with how they acted compared to her own.

So in light of these new experiences Bonnie looked back harshly on her experiences with her own family, which she felt were cold and austere in comparison. There was nothing wrong with Bonnie's family, it was just that Bonnie was a love-starved young girl craving someone to give her love to. First she gave her love to Roy but he abandoned her, so then she ''suicided'' by giving her love to a gangster (Clyde) and a gang (Clyde's Barrow Gang) . Bonnie's mother Emma noted that the love Bonnie gave Clyde was very different than the love she had given Roy. Emma noted that Bonnie ''worshiped'' Clyde.

07:
Bonnie tells that she was not overly fond of her 'fast' life in the city. It was a 'transactional' life where she and men
'used' each other, their interactions devoid of the meaningful love or care which Bonnie craved.

08:
Bonnie describes Clyde colorfully as a ''henchman'' a ''professional killer'' from ''Chi'', in other words a thug boss, who's a professional lady-killer, winning girls over with his handsome looks and suave style, while dressed Chicago style 'to the nines'.

09:
She tells us she's hoping to get at least a one year 'run' of it before she is arrested. Bonnie confirms that Clyde is her mentor in her life as a gangster gal and that she idolizes and worships Clyde.

10:
Bonnie was well educated for her time, with a tenth grade high school education and considered the possibility of temporarily getting on a bank's payroll to help her gang from the inside. With this fantasy Bonnie indicates her preparedness to 'case the place'. In Clyde's reply to Bonnie's poem ''The Trail's End'', Clyde confirms that ''Bonnie will always help me when I am casing a job''.

12:
Here Bonnie confirms that she will always act selflessly and can be trusted to act autonomously, to the best of her ability in Clyde's favor. She confirms here that she understands the expectation of her to always act for the benefit of Clyde. Bonnie acted in Clyde's favor when Raymond Hamilton's girlfriend Mary O'Dare counselled Bonnie to poison Clyde and steal his money. In that instance Bonnie saved Clyde's life. Bonnie was Clyde's most trustworthy companion.

13:
Bonnie confirms that she does not underestimate or take the police as fools and that she expects them to realize the true nature of her actions.

14:
Bonnie assures that even if faced with the obvious, she will never admit to partnering with a criminal or being part of an organized crime group, and will unwaveringly insist she is innocent.

15:
Bonnie confirms, wisely and cynically, that she well understands that when things get serious with the authorities (Uncle Sam) , a few corrupt lawyers and officials are not going to be of much help. Bonnie is very realistic and confirms here that she is joining Clyde knowing from the outset that Clyde's game is a losing game. She tells this beautifully in her later poem ''Outlaws''. But despite knowing this clearly, Bonnie was later the one urging Clyde to help in Raymond Hamilton's breakout from Eastham Prison Farm, which amounted to a direct attack on ''Uncle Sam'', for which they finally got 'shook down'.

16:
She tells us that she expects to go to jail for a lengthy period of time for this one year 'run'. Bonnie tells us that her going bad for this 'run' with Clyde, is her ''Suicide'', it was indeed for her, social and reputational suicide. What motivated Bonnie to decide to ruin her life this way? She confirms in this poem that she is knowingly and willingly paying the price of many years jail for just a one year 'run'. A very high price to pay for such a short time of happiness. That such a short time of happiness meant so much to Bonnie that she was prepared to sacrifice her life for it is very moving and so sad.

17:
Bonnie tells us what she would be prepared to do and how far she would be prepared to go, silently to jail for however long and take the full rap while keeping her mouth shut and not making a single 'squawk'. This in itself effectively amounts to a suicide.

18:
Bonnie confirms that in case Clyde was dead or otherwise unable to communicate with her, that she accepted that she would serve out her sentence alone in jail. In other words she would effectively be a 'dead girl walking'.

19:
But Bonnie warns that if Clyde chose to 'live large' like a 'big shot' and forget her, that she would not forgive him.

20:
In this poem Bonnie acknowledges that she expects to get nothing from this big bank heist for herself (and by extension she's telling Clyde she expects nothing from any of the gang's criminal activities, while in actual fact Bonnie demanded her ''cut'' from every job the gang pulled) , but a lengthy jail term, and all she asks for in return is for ''Jack'' to not forget her and to return to her sometime. She says that if ''Jack'' returned to her sometime, even if he had nothing to give her, she'd forget all the trouble he caused her and love him for as long as she lived. Clyde did return to her after she was released from a two month stint in Kaufman County jail.

21:
Still, Bonnie cynically tells that she expects to be completely forgotten by ''Jack'' while she's in jail. She confronts her fear of abandonment by forming an advance expectation to be abandoned.

After her husband Roy abandoned her, her fear of abandonment came true. Her clinginess to Roy was probably partly what chased Roy away, a kind of self fulfilling prophesy.

Bonnie clung to her mother Emma from when she was a child. Emma understood how delicate her daughter Bonnie was and to her credit she never abandoned Bonnie, even right to the bitter end, Emma was always there for Bonnie. Emma's epitaph to Bonnie on her grave is telling: ''As the flowers are all made sweeter by the sunshine and the dew, so this old world is made brighter by the lives of folks like you''.

Bonnie indirectly alluded to her fear of abandonment in a letter she sent to Clyde while he was in jail before he was convicted and sentenced to the penitentiary, in which she said she would gladly swap places with him in jail if she could go 'in' and he could come 'out', but that if she did that he would probably soon forget her.

Bonnie:
''Sugar, I don't know a thing that is interesting, only I love you more than my own life and I am almost crazy. Honey, if you stay in jail two more weeks, I'll be as crazy as a bughouse rat. I dreamed last night that you got 'out' and I got 'in'. I wish I could serve those long days for you, dear. But if I were in, you'd probably forget me''.

When Clyde went away to prison, at first he cooled a bit towards Bonnie with her incessant obsessive attention to him and her going out to meet his folks.

Bonnie (in a letter to Clyde following a jail visit) :
''You didn't act like you were very glad to see me today. What's wrong? Don't you love me any more? I know how you feel, honey. I guess you are awfully worried''.

He probably realized that Bonnie was an obsessively unstable person and his reaction was to want to distance from her. But she was unrelenting and he was in jail with no other options at the present so he would have thought 'what do I have to lose? '.

Bonnie (in a letter to Clyde) :
''Don't worry, darling, because I'm going to do everything possible and if you do have to go down, I'll be good while your gone, and be waiting- waiting- waiting for you. I love you''.

So when he got out of jail, he decided to 'look her up' again after all her obsessiveness and sure enough she was just as obsessive as before. So he let her 'ride' with his gang and even gifted her a pistol to replace her own one which she got confiscated when she visited him in jail.

Then they messed up and Bonnie got arrested and spent two months in Kaufman County jail before being 'no billed' and released. She went back home likely thinking she'd never see Clyde again, but Clyde was intrigued by Bonnie's obsessiveness and came past to see if she was still game.

Oh yes she was! So Clyde earned himself a loyal, clingy, obsessive girl. And through great escape artistry and sheer luck they would never again be parted until they were both finally killed by law enforcement, on a road travelling through the piney woods of north western Louisiana, almost two years later.

Clyde got Bonnie a shot gun she could handle, a 20 gauge that was really a child's or women's hunting gun, and cut it down to make it easier to use in confined spaces. No male outlaw would use such a gun. She was like a child running with the gang, so small at 5' 11'' and 90lb that she often appeared weak and pitiful, but was very tough and capable and with her loyalty, trustworthiness and sheer courage, helpfulness and obsessive care for him, Clyde grew very fond of Bonnie, who wouldn't?

To Clyde's credit, he never abandoned her, even towards the end when she was crippled. Bonnie, regardless of all the hardships of living on the run, was living her best life with Clyde. She loved him, worshipped him, trusted him not to abandon her, and felt at peace to die with her love, she was his one true friend.

Bonnie:
''Clyde's name is up, mama, he'll be killed sooner or later, because he's never going to give up. I love him and I'm going to be with him till the end. When he dies I want to die anyway. Let's don't be sad. I'm in as big a spot as Clyde is. My name's up too. And though it may sound funny to you, I'm happy, just being with Clyde, no matter what comes''.

22:
She tells in the poem however, that if he chose to forget her and went living it up with someone else, and did not return to her, she'd be so mad (she was obsessive) , she'd want to kill them both, even if it meant the electric chair for her.

23:
When she finally got out of jail...

24:
She would stalk them and kill them (extreme level of obsessive 'crazy') .

But Clyde was similar as the following shows:

Bonnie:
''Let him try to get smart again and I will, too, come home to my Mama''.
Clyde:
''You try it, old sugar, and if the law doesn't kill you, I will''.
Emma (Bonnie's Mum) , downplaying:
''But he kissed her as he said it. He knew, just as we all knew, that he'd never have to kill Bonnie for leaving him because she wasn't going to leave him''.

25:
At the end of the poem Bonnie tells, ''a sub-gun ended the story of Suicide Sal''. She leaves open whose sub-gun. From the flow of the poem one seems invited to think it is a gangland sub-gun taking revenge on ''Suicide Sal''. But it could also be the sub-gun of the law where ''Suicide Sal'' refuses to surrender and be caught. The third possibility open is that ''Suicide Sal'' takes her own life with the sub-gun in preference to getting caught and getting the electric chair.


Purpose Of This Poem:

Bonnie is writing this poem to indirectly indicate to Clyde that she is just as crazy and suicidal as he is. Also to indicate to Clyde that she fully understands the expectation of her to remain silent and take the full rap if necessary, without implicating anyone else.

Bonnie is fanatically serious in her expectation of loyalty and to sense of duty. At the time Bonnie first wrote this poem, while she was in Kaufman jail, she was still in effect only a kind of 'prospect' for Clyde's gang and was only joining Clyde intermittently. This poem serves in effect as Bonnie's 'personal background' and 'job application CV', to join Clyde's gang.

As it turned out, Bonnie was Clyde's most trustworthy and dependable gang member, right to the very end, when they were living together 'hour by hour' expecting their imminent death, which finally came at the hands of law enforcement at 9: 15am on 23 May 1934, the Laws ambushing their car and killing them both just outside of Sailes in Bienville Parish, Louisiana.