Sorry Dear Son Poem by PADMINI DUTTA SHARMA

Apologies of a mother

Springiest thou from the deep crevices of earth
A sapling into a full grown tree
The seed that I hath deliberately ambushed
For camouflaging a sin...

The greens you hold are bewitching and serene
The water droplets you hold on to, gleam like the mirror pristine
Reflecting a guilty soul, charred from inside
I can bear to look no more into those culpable eyes
That tear my conscience into pieces asunder...

So since when did this story start if I may recall
That was the summer of a heart breaking evening
Unlike him, he reached late after keeping me waiting, and apologized
The canopy overlooking the sky looked inviting for everything we'd been holding onto, for years
Times were different, since he was going away for good and my heart was heavy
I insisted, fully aware of the consequences
Unable to resist the call of my inner being
The beckoning to be one with him
For the first and last time...

The myriad thoughts now cascading, question my motherhood, my very existence
The strong YOU stand tall and silent, bemused, with lot of questions beleaguering your lips
Maybe mocking at my candy floss image, diva of millions, the fake avatar of grand womanhood
Trust me, I hadn't the courage then to stand by you
My strength flickered during those dark hours of peril
The thought of society booing at me, calling me a fallen woman
As I felt you grow, slowly inside me
I plucked my conscience and tossed it to the wind
To live a scarless life! ! !