I Long For Freedom Poem by Ellis Slater

Long after dark
I hear my phone ring
I let it play its tune
Let the song sing
I don't want to talk
Still, I look at who it is
Needing space I walk
See me falling into the abyss

I swear, I am okay
I tell myself I am alright
But I still see bodies in the bay
And I know that isn't right
I have everything I desire
Perhaps, that's the problem
I wonder why I am so tired
Why I cannot find my fire

I hear the clasp of a buckle
So I know, no more pain today
Even with the battle over, I struggle
And I know, I am not okay
Help is what I should seek
I just cannot faine anymore
My eyes begin to leak
Trying to get out my door

But I am being held hostage
My thoughts are my captors
I want to run away to a small cottage
But that cottage is now in tatters

I swear, I am okay
Always promising you I'm alright
But I still see bodies in the bay
And I know, that isn't right
You've given me everything I've desired
Maybe that's your flaw
You ask why I seem so tired
Why I no longer have any fire

Now, I am screaming in the shower
Trying to wash away my lies
I never wanted to cower
Yet I stay in the corner to cry
Except I cannot cry anymore
I have no more tears left to shed
I feel my heart breaking, my core
I am empty when I go to bed
What should I do now that I am living a lore
Can I finally rest my weary head

I keep promising im okay
Isn't that what were all wanting
I know I cannot forget that day
But I will not lose sleep counting
All the reason why he should pay
So instead I will carry on shouting,

"I keep promising I am okay
Isn't that what we always say
I know I cannot forget that day
But I will not drown in the bay"