I Had A Friend, Her Name Was Depression Poem by Leena Amwaalwa

We met some years ago.
We'd greet each other from a distance, until we eventually became friends.
Depression was a good sister.
Understanding and cheering me on every time I decided to give up,
Depression was my rock.
When things didn't work out, Depression was always there.
Offering a shoulder to cry on and wiping my tears.
Every time I decided to try again, Depression would offer her meaningful input.
'Why try again when you're just going to fail, again'.
And I always listened to her.
Why, she was my friend.

Depression, oh so supportive and funny.
And so we grew closer, and I started calling her Dep.
I stopped eating.
I let go of my hobbies.
I stopped taking care of myself.
I cut everyone off.
I gave up on my dreams.
I stopped making time for everything else, but Dep.
Time passed and we kept each other's company.

Lo and behold, Dep became possessive.
She'd remind me about all the pain.
She'd help me count and note every heartache.
She'd fuel my ill thoughts.
She'd help me map out hatred and revenge.
She'd keep me in isolation, a prisoner of my dark thoughts.
She'd feed me with self-loath and she'd remind me that I'm not good enough.
That I wouldn't amount to anything and that it is in my own good to listen to her.
And sadly, I believed her for she was my friend.

Fast forward to a couple of years later.
I met someone else.
Her name was Self-Love, and she sometimes go by Self-Forgiveness.
She was fierce and good company to be around.
So we became best friends very fast.
But Dep wouldn't have none of it.
She became enraged and she turned against me.
She thought I'd do everyone a favour by ending it once and for all.
And all of a sudden I started noticing sharp objects.
I started studying my wrists and thinking how easy I could slash them.

Fortunately, Self-Love was there.
Persistent and adamant, she taught me how to love myself again.
She taught me how to forgive myself and everyone who had wronged me.
She taught me to stand up, dust myself off and soldier on.
That I may not make it tomorrow but I'd eventually get there.
She reminded me about how amazing and beautiful I am.
She helped me see that I have a purpose in this world.
That I wasn't a mistake and she helped me re-discover my talents.

And so here I am.
I may not yet have accomplished what I set out to do.
I may not yet be where I meant to be.
But I sure am not where I used to be.
And now I know where I intend to go.
Here's to Self-Love.
Here's to Self-Forgiveness.
Here's to self-rediscovery.
Here's to soldiering on.