I Am A Woman Poem by Souren Mondal

I Am A Woman

Rating: 5.0


I am that girl whi didn't fit into her mother's shoes,

Tormented, cornered, ridiculed for being not too
girly
Cause I did not like dolls, and wanted to play
football,

'Be feminine', they said,
'Learn how to cook, be obedient, pray for a
good future husband, watch your conducts,
learn manners, and never be like those horrible
women who strive to learn diffefently, and by knowledge
live on their own,


Better live on the street'..

I had to be the girl they wanted me to be,
So I gave up my dreams of football and prayed
forgivance to the God who made us all,

Guilty, shamed, I moved on...

And one day,
I began to bleed from somewhere I'm forbidden to name,

'Stay put', they said, 'your body is now
dirty'

The God that I prayed to everyday,
now closed his doors on me,
'Don't go there when you're dirty! '

But mamma I'm a good girl,
I play with dolls and never watch sports,

I pray for a husband, a master, another God...

And then they said my chest was flat,
But when I wore padded bras,
they said I was making them mad,

When I wore a salwar, they called me bahenji
When I wore jeans I was easy,


And one day a man came in my life,

'You're beautiful', he said, and asked for my hand...

'I love you so much', he told me into my eyes,

And I, a naïve girl, trusted him,
And against the world in love I fell,



..................................................................


Buy mamma, papa, why do you scold me
so bad,
I was a good girl,
and he loved me...


Why do you say that I brought disgrace
upon you and the world?

I didn't do a thing that was not for
love...

'I am ashamed of you', said mamma,
'Wish you were dead'....

Daddy slapped me hard with the same
hands that once taught me how to walk,
My mom called me a whore with the same
mouth that taught me words....

'Get rid of it! ', they said together
I obeyed like a good girl
(I was not gonna keep it anyways)

My lover, my hero, has meanwhile fled,
My heart emptied of blood, with poison
replaced,

Yes,
I am a girl
The one who obeys, loves and gives up
without a second thought,

Yes,
I am a woman,
The one who over-reacts, in jealous-fits goes mad, and
speaks too much,


or too little...

One, who has to give thanks that she was
not killed in the womb, One, who's not been raped or killed or been burnt
alive...

I am the woman who was directed toward the nunnery,
I am the one who was given snake hair,
I'm the one who has been asked to take a purity test
on fire,
and then went under the earth,

I'm all encompassing,

I'm the harlot of your fantasies,
I'm the mother who taught you to talk,
I'm the semi-nude girl on the magazine,
I'm the ideal partner,
The obedient wife,
Master-chef in kitchen, pornstar in bed,
I'm the one you lust after despite your vows

But then,
I'm none of them,

Neither the slut nor the sati,
Neither pure nor corrupt,

I am a woman,
I am all women,

But mostly,
I'm a human being...

Being the woman of your choice?
Fucking no, I'm not that
Neither will I ever be,


At least from inside...

Saturday, June 13, 2015
Topic(s) of this poem: confessional
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Edward Kofi Louis 05 November 2015

Woman! Starting as a girl. Nice work. Thanks for sharing.

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Souren Mondal 19 February 2016

Thanks for reading...

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Susan Williams 13 June 2017

You brought forth a girl in your poem and made her live... she lives and breathes and feels and tries and cries. Wonderful storytelling abilities in this poem. But most of all and best of all you looked at the world from the other side of her eyes, as she sees it, as she feels it. If people do not feel for this child growing into womanhood, then they are the cruel kind of people who in this poem did not find it in their hearts to love and love without reservation and without judgment.A well-written poem, my dear friend, that reveals you are made of compassion. 10++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

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Mihaela Pirjol 19 March 2016

Yes! This is poetry! Raw emotions, a '' good '' shock for the reader, cutting through his/her fiber! A poem that lingers on, is a poem well-written - this one is Great!

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Nosheen Irfan 09 February 2016

A woman's whole life summed up so beautifully. This poem reflects an acute social awareness. Its hard to believe it has come from the pen of a male. You definitely know what women have to suffer in the name of customs n traditions. A very powerful voice for gender equality u r. Your style of writing is straightforward hence very effective in conveying the message. A poem that leaves a mark on reader's heart. Full marks.

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Richard Thézé 30 November 2015

This poem is very close to home for me. I enjoyed reading it very much.

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Bakuli Bhakali 23 November 2015

This was so original so feminine that I could hardly believe this is coming from a man. So, I went back to your poet page … and i found the woman who lives in a man’s heart! Hey! Is she the reflection of your Neena? She must have left a deep impression in your life … Or the woman in your heart was already there? So, your heart fell for Neena. I couldn’t understand eggs came first or the chick? (Don’t take it hard I’m just kidding) ……………………………………………………………………………….. Right from the beginning of her life it was too imposing – “A tomboy who don’t fit to her mother’s shoes was imposed with a scornful life And not to talk of those unwelcomed lessons that forced her to live a meek life What did they actually mean when they said ‘be feminine’ and ‘learn manners’? ! To be weak and submissive? ! And surrender all her dreams? ! She was constantly shamed for the sin she never committed Or for the sin that was never a sin at all? ! It happened not just as a girl but continued even when she converted herself into a loving woman. Maybe it’s never going to stop, it happened in past when Maharishi Valmiki was writing his great epic! It’s happening with me and I fear it may happen with my daughter too… But I don’t understand how Valmiki being Maharishi could do such a blunder When he could foresee everything! He knew how his epic is going to impress people in future He knew what Sita, the Mother of us will bring to women folk Yet, he created her so weak so feeble so submissive… Never ever raised her voice against the injustice done to her And now man expect their woman to be her How can he be so cruel to his own creation that he let her walk on fire? Or he was not maharishi But another man like the ones we have now? ! Don’t worry I’m not talking about you. There may be some man inside whose heart there lives a woman. And you’re one such! This poem was so insightful so bold that I can’t stop thinking about it. Literally, I’m sinking into your idea… partly it was like one of my most liked feministic poem “an introduction” by Kamala Das. Thank you very much for a brilliant poem! !

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Bakuli Bhakali 24 November 2015

man or woman... that doesn't matter much! If you can understand one's emotion and empathise with them without being prejudiced that's enough to touch ones heart!

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Bakuli Bhakali 24 November 2015

great! ! what kind of fiction do u write? i mean... novels..novella...short stories..? did you publish any? i would like to read them!

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Souren Mondal 24 November 2015

Well you may never know - I might be a woman writing as a man! ! : p No, this poem has very little to do with Neena, it's about many other women I have had met and spoken to in my life. I have had the good fortune and still have it, to have got more female friends than male ones. And that helps a lot, alongside the fact that I am more of a prose writer.. Fiction is my forte, poetry always comes second for me.. So it's that habit of 'creating' characters that allows me a great deal of strength, if I use that word, to write both as a man and as a woman... And you hit the nail right on its head when you mentioned 'An introduction' - the 'fit in' is taken directly from there.. Kamla Das, Sylvia Plath and Taslima Nasrin - these three fabulous poets have been the 'inspiration' behind my works almost all the time.. And I am a hardcore radical feminist almost! Pretty well read from Woolf to Butler.. All of that helps always... Sita, to me, is a symbol of patriarchal subjugation almost! She has no say whatsoever in whatever happens to her. Her being put in the 'agniparkisha' (I always write that line in 'passive' voice) is, to me, the ultimate sign of male chauvinist hipocrisy... Ravan was far better than Ram in this aspect - perhaps he respected Sita more than Ram did! Finally, thank you for such a beautiful comment... It's a really well written and wonderful, wonderful comment Bakuli :)

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