How Y'all A Doin? Poem by Steve Howard

How Y'all A Doin?

The hens have all quit laying.
Grandmaw sat down on a thorn.
The truck broke down last summer,
and the only thing works is the horn.
The milk cow's got the scours,
and there's cut worms in the corn.
Grandpaw lost his wooden leg.
Probably left it at the bar.
He just hops all about in a circle,
but ain't progressed too much so far.
Last week the hog picked up his trough,
and moved to the farm next door.
I keep on smelling bacon.
I guess he won't be back no more.
Lightning struck the outhouse.
That was just the other day.
It nearly caught Aunt Bessie in the act, .
but sometimes life just happens that way.
She had to throw away her bloomers,
but I reckon she'll be ok.
Ma run off with a salesman.
That surprised us sure as you're born.
Now Pa just sits around grinning.
He's just too brave to act forlorn.
A feller showed up last Thursday,
with some kind of eviction form.
Then my oh my, the well went dry,
and the roof blew away in a storm.
Yep, things are really going great,
down here on the family farm.
And as long as the barn keeps burning,
we'll all stay snug and warm.