Gaslighting Poem by Gerald Opio

You are constantly second-guessing yourself, your confidence is shot, and you are questioning your perception of reality.
Sound familiar? You may be a victim of gaslighting.

The term is used to describe a form of emotional abuse where one person gradually manipulates another in order to gain control.
It could involve the abuser pretending to misunderstand their victim, or questioning how they remember events.

They then dismiss their valid worries as "crazy" or "sensitive" until the person is confused and vulnerable.
Abusers manipulate their victims carefully and purposefully; they switch readily between charm and rage.
Indeed, to an outsider, the perpetrator may appear to be the perfect, caring partner.

Gaslighting doesn't just refer to romantic relationships. It can happen with friends and family too.
All forms of gaslighting cause feelings of confusion and powerlessness, it causes trauma, anxiety, panic and depression.
Gaslighting can cause the victim to feel as if their reality has been distorted and to believe the version of events that the perpetrator is telling them even when these events aren't true.
This is harmful to one's mental health.

There are various forms of gaslighting, including lying and toxic amnesia, reality manipulations, scapegoating and coercion.
The coercive or controlling behaviour may be short of serious physical violence, but amounts to extreme psychological and emotional abuse".

Toxic amnesia is a form of gaslighting where the person pretends not to remember events or conversations that does not serve them and also creates chaos, doubt and confusion.
Other forms of gaslighting, often referred to as medical gaslighting, shows up a lot in the lives of people living with chronic health conditions and disability.
These people often have their experiences not taken seriously, told that it's in their heads, being made to feel they are not trying hard enough or even that they are imagining chronic pain or chronic fatigue.

This is extremely damaging and denies the experiences of the person. This often leads to a mistrust of professionals, feeling even more isolated and an inner thought portraying that you might be going mad.