Ecstasy Poem by Anuradha Bhattacharyya

Sometimes in my dreams
I suffocate myself
In the pressure of
Your clasp, and then
Lie limp, as if
You have picked me up.
In my dreams do I
Sometimes scream, sometimes cry,
And then wet my pillow
A while.
This wakes me up
Every morning at five.

Sometimes when alone
I close my eyes,
I look in the mirror of my lid,
You stand there gazing
Down at me, for I’m small –
Four years ago I dared not look up,
But now I have no colour
Rising to my cheeks,
Only the lips burn for something,
You know.
This keeps me still
For a long long time.

Sometimes I put soft music
To my ear,
And put off the lights,
Then I can be in space,
Where everything disappears
And you appear like a
Shining star which
I want to hold;
Like I used to when
I was a little girl.
And I open up like a flower
To receive you.

Sometimes I lie on the grass,
And let the sun
Wet me;
It seems very close nearby,
As if you have touched me.
A thrill runs down my spine.
And I throw up my hands
To touch you;
I forget where I am,
I forget the truth,
I forget the sun,
I think it’s only you.