Silence broken by a hushed converse
Breaking news of comma's reverse
Alien aura of tubes and stands
Silent heave swollen glands
Muffled giggle kids gleam
Gramps tries a silent beam
Hardly suit, infirm and sick
Elegant floor, ceramic slick
Fallen off a dizzying sledge
Ill at ease in a plastered leg
Distant bout of rasping cough
Chastised attendant off in a huff
Purple bruises of attempted drips
Stand out sharply from shiny clips
Divergent forms with baggy attires
Crouched nurse maneuvering wires
His quivering lips and shaking hands
How surreally fight the restraining band
Some blood be drawn for the endocrines
Whispered whoosh of support machines
A starched prong on the matron's head
Declining spinster, should have wed
(Islamabad)
(June 24,2009)
Centre justified the lines assume the shape of a flower vase…
….signifying hope!
You have combined your emotional involvement with your inside knowledge of medical environments so effectively here. The shape is a lovely idea - thank you for your note on that.
Silence broken by a hushed converse Breaking news of comma’s reverse Alien aura of tubes and stands Silent heave swollen glands....meaningful and educative poem with deep inside knowledge.... good write. read mine papa do u know and papa you too/ along with o, mother
you bring out the cloinical atmosphere in the hospital devoid of any human touch very graphically. no wonder, staying in a hospital is an ordeal. your senses are acute and don't miss anything- a myraid of conflicting emotions- well expressed take care Mamta
You create an atmosphere of pain and suffering so exactly here, with a touch of never-ending hope in the end...The power of prayers and light is always there.Thanks for sharing your experience, Saadat. A.
Father would have felt the deep love from his son... a touching poem Saadat.Thank you for sharing.
what a powerful way of writing, you have a strong command of words to suit the picture you intend to convey to the reader
you have used images to their optimum effect and they bring out the poignancy of the piece with an amazing conviction...impressive! !
This is well crafted containing strong emotions that show the devotion of a son. I also appreciate your familiarity with the medical environment that notices tiny details and in a few words captures the scene.
Hi Saadat, I have also sat beside my Mum's bedside like this and can bring it to mind vividly at a moment's notice. Did he recover? If so best wishes to you both.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Thanks for your note about the pattern formed Saadat, as I was watching it change and thought it was very clever. It not only rhymed with great rhythm, but you achieved this as well. 'purple bruises' and 'his quivering lips and shaking hands, how surreally fight the restraining band' stood out for me! Well done! 10 Karin Anderson