A Singing Broken Heart Poem by Mohammad Muzzammil
A Singing Broken Heart
Alas! I lost my comfort and now my existence,
Cause I saw a flower full of fragrance,
Was pretty but surrounded by thorn fence,
And I wanted to get it breaking any hindrance.
The flower pointed at me as same my will,
And waving its head, it assured me,
A was satisfied and could pass any hill,
Only its pointing kept me in glee.
I started moving to reach the flower,
Thorn stopped me, but I kept on,
I was bleeding but smiling with shower,
I felt many times but I kept on.
I reached the flower with fine intention,
Forgot my wounds I was near my destination,
And I made aware it with my notion,
And a long time we did too mention.
Now I wanted to get its respondence,
But it didn't speak 'on this' even a single word,
Being on thorns I waited with confidence,
But it dejected and made dark my happy world.
It pushed me on thorns and disabused too,
On my will was to pluck, but it thought wrong,
I appreciated it for its beauty and loved too,
But it refused me and disliked my song.
I broke badly while falling on the ground,
And my dreams collapsed like a house of sand,
My wounds were aching but made no sound,
And now I've no place for one to be land.
Now I've truned a stone by prayer,
And nobody is near me as may be my dear,
Cause I've been broken by a false player,
And have no might to do it again, I clear,
Nobody is able to be called mine,
Hands meet but between hearts a rine.
Rine means ditch
Metaphorically very sound n’ strong emotionally lithe …enjoyed … thanks for sharing Hon’ble Poet Mohammad-ji Regards Ms. Nivedita UK 10/10
nice imagination used. sadness in a poem with flower...unique. okay, what do u mean by, 'breaking boy hindrance.' sorry, i am not gettin what r u tryna explain here. ERRORS 2nd verse, last line, the word 'gee' is verb/exclamanation...i dont see u usin it in either form. is one line missin in the 4th verse.! ! ! ? ? ? 'But it dejected and made dark my happy world.' u just want to rhyme 'word' with 'world' and it's done forcefully... forced rhyming...so doesnt go with the flo of the poem, try rewriting... i dont think there's a word like 'discaused'... can understand what u r wantin to convey but certainly it's not suiting. 'appriciated' will come instead. 'but they made no sound' will come instead. 'between hearts a rine. ' what's rine? ? ? ?
A beautiful poem about the flower. Each quatrain is nicely written. a good write
This is a very beautiful poem. you are very good with descriptions. this poem makes me think back on all the flowers I have stumbled across. I find it amazing that people liveng so far way from each other in different countries from different ethnicities, love truly is universal.
let your heart sing be it broken, for a song sang by a broken heart is still a song and for sure a heartfelt one. very metaphorical.
you are a really good poet. your style of writing is smooth and easy to read, and it has deep meaning. keep up the good work =)
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/30/2024 11:12:13 AM # 1.0.0.1119
very touchy and nice poem. thanks for sharing.