747 To Dubai Poem by Peter Hall

A lady sat next to me
On the 747 to Dubai,
It wasn't long before I asked God;
'Why, oh why, oh why'! .

All that she could do was
Talk and talk and talk,
All that I wanted to do was
Walk and walk and walk.

She talked louder than the engines
With more revolutions per second,
And to make matters worse
She had a face like a melon.

I found out she loved horses
And loved the Aberdeen races,
The more I heard her talking
I knew horses have nicer faces.

Oh yes...she has 2 other sisters
I saw the photos of their wedding
And the one with the Union Jack
On top of her marital bedding.

Did you know she really loves bagpipes
And got married to the music of Elvis?
But she forgot to buy the deserts
But at least the guests had their Haggis.

I haven't told you her job
Or her her favourite colour of dress,
Cos I'm exhausted after the flight
I think it's time for a rest.

So next time you have 'time out'
And you want to rest as you fly,
Make sure it's an empty plane
Or book a seat on the aisle! .