In The Arms Of Darkness Poem by advija hrustic

today I feel lonely......feel lonely again
days are going by, I am tired
tired of everything around me
I often wonder how long can I take it.

it makes no sense, nothing makes sense any more
the whole life, the existence.

I want to be strong, strong just one more time
that's what they expect, that's what they want
and i always did what was expected...
always did....and now I smiled after long time
what did I get back.

where is the hand I need, where is the shoulder to cry on.
I cry, and my heart cried...for being alone.
and where did the world go
where did the hopes go, when I try to be there for everyone

and I get that I am crazy, selfish, bad mother, sister, wife
child....what else did I get,
yes I got that i could have done more for them.


where am I in my existence, and do I exist at all
is my life just a dream, childish dream of happiness.

and I keep trying and fall back again, keep getting up
and I ask myself do i get up for myself or for them.

I wish I was more coward to end it, to stop waking up at 2...3...
and wait to see what is next....and the next brings just more pain
more emptiness........being lonely is like a dream, dream you want to stop,
dream you want to stop forever.