Crazy Alf Poem by Stuart Cuthbert

he sometimes comes in the shadows at night
Like a thief on a mission or a ninja in a cage fight
he lurks behind the bushes and the bus stops
Like a politician or crazy little nut job
Standing taller than a tall thing this is the time for stealth
He’s much bigger than a small thing not too good for ya health

His parents were too nasty for the Mansons
Kicked out for been too loud
They make the osbournes look like Hanson
Freddy kruger would be so proud
If he had been the father to Crazy Alf
Crazy Alf

Oh crazy Alf the police he has eluded drove them all close to tears
Minor crimes not included hes going down for a thousand years
He’s The biggest criminal the most wanted man in the north
The casualties are minimal and he never gets caught
Playing games with the coppers always one step ahead
What they don’t realise is for 18 years crazy Alf has been dead

Crazy Alf went crazy for two years of his life
His memory was lazy and forgot to mention he had died
If only it was mentioned to the officers in charge
That he spent his stolen pension on a good spot in the graveyard
Its easy to be elusive when your dead burried deep down
You won’t get caught when you live 6 feet below the ground

crazy Alf


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