Marie WardAlonge

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A Father's Regret

A father she had loved but never seen.
A picture sent by him when she was in her teens.
A physical feature she had from his genes
She heard people say she had to be his.
They would tease.
To her, some people could be very mean.

While both parents were many miles away,
Her grandmother kept her.
She was strict.
You dared to interrupt.
She would often have the last say.
She loved that child unconditionally.
She stayed while others chose to flee.

Living in the city, her father had opportunities to many treats.
On the farm, waiting for her father to come,
They had to struggle to get the heat.

Her father would send her a box of clothes, perhaps once or twice.
A call here, a call there-She was naïve and believed that was nice.
Perhaps, to him he believed it was sufficed.

Ironically, when he called, he called her angel.
When the conversation ended, she figured he didn't know.
She would call him Charlie.
Remember-the character from that famous television show.

After graduation, he told her to place him a call.
And when she did,
He reneged.
"Wrong number, " the man said.
This for a long time stayed in her head.
Years later, she learned it was him and he told that lie.
He made that decision to deny.

He told her family he wanted to get in touch.
For his many requests, she didn't think of them much.
Then one day she did agree.
To take time and listen to his plea.
She doesn't remember the excuse he gave.
Her father's relationship she wanted to save.

Later, due to a credit debt she needed to fix.
Her father sent two-hundred dollars quick.
She was thankful and she believed those years of estrangement had been unlocked.
She didn't know years of discontentment were ticking on their clock.

During one of their conversations, he told her a transplant he needed.
She knew it was serious as she listens while he conceded.
She made the offer to come through.
He had too much pride and seemed stubborn too.

Later on a transplant was found.
She was happy and relieved that he was well.
She needed her father and she wanted him to be around.

Then one day he called and everything fell apart.
It was the day she let anger out of her heart.
He told her he was not happy with her job or the personal relationship she was in.
She informed how could he talk?
He had been less than a man.
She reminded him of the talks about the places he had travelled.
A visit from him, not even once.

As she continued to talk, emotions ran high and she became unraveled.
He never took the time to see or help her thrive.
However, he wanted to take the time by phone to criticize.

She told him for her he wasn't there.
Their discussion carried on.
He asked her who would be there for her now and then he hung up the phone.

Then one night she received that call she remembers to this day.
It was her mother saying her father had passed away.
In her mind, it kicked in that her father had suddenly died.
On the phone with her mother, she yelled and cried.

Talking to the families, they gave the impression.
She wanted his money and his possessions.
Her father just died.
She was in shock.
If only they could have seen her expression.

What happened to him may be reputed.
She can't get over the fact their last talk, they disputed.
For a long time she kept his number on her phone.
She knew that had been their only connection and she wanted him to come home.

The family didn't tell her until then.
Her father had become disabled near his end.
He had asked for her not to be told.
This decision had wound her soul.
To make her suffer like this perhaps, until she grows old.

Her father's transgressions, she can not forget.
At times she can't help but wonder while taking his last breath.
Did he have a brief moment of a father's regret?

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