Julia Luber

And so recently, like let's say TODAY, I fell in love.
And this is a very big deal because…..so say it only lasts
for a week or two, or at minimum until tomorrow, to have
an emotion at this point, with what I've gone through lately-
...

For some time between, they live in flux.
Few words, strange gazes, actions either unseen
or far too rough…….
They cast upon each other reflections of themselves.
...

It almost feels like that one time you make a mistake, actually
exhausts all the perfection you so carefully masterminded before:
as if it all the trance in good and right existed only for a build up
for that one mistake to take more from you, to hurt more, to exploit
...

When I think of what it means to be alive and how
we have to fuss away the day with doing so many things
just to maintain our mere existence: life becomes just
a state of responsibility. Nothing really more.
...

All I have done otherwise today is worry and fret.
As for if there's any space in my mind and soul for good dreams yet.
I don't know what has confiscated me to this psychological debt.
But it is a trap I wish I could forget.
...

The earth was heavy, but the sun was light.
Through that which circled that the whole was bright.

Concealing no wonder what to the dark of night.
...

And now I am starting to make promises I can't keep.
I mean them at the moment, but there are hours to go before
tomorrow, and memories to fade in at prey to haunt me.
I think I want to do something that seems like the right thing.
...

I wish to God that I had been in a situation that I didn't have to know
anything about her at all. That I had never seen her again after she threw
my hand off her like that. That being why I was a danger to myself or another-
that I touched somebody suggestively when they did not want to be touched.
...

I have not written a poem in a long time, and I feel good.
Maybe we forget how hard it is sometimes to think and feel
so deeply and to express emotions and stretches of consciousness
to people who don't even know us. Or if only to ourselves.
...

Sometimes when you've tried really super hard, you've given it your
all and more than you ever thought was possible; sometimes-when
you've put that much into something and tried that hard and overcome
some of the most challenging complications that exist: sometimes if you
...

Not all trains of thought go somewhere.
Poetry is a Trust that an inceptive concept, even
maybe only a single word, can become something
that means something emotional or philosophical
...

There's no bottom. This is an eternal plunge into things
that you don't want to know and that you have no idea as to
what to do about. Oh, and there's a third thing: even if you do
the right thing-those who you need to rely on and work with
...

...

Today was hard. Very. At this point I am surprised I can do
anything but cry. Tear up. Poise a stiff upper lip. And all I can
say with any truth or sincerity is "At least it was my fault."
...

And in this war-zone, there is no instructive poem:
explaining what our human behavior should be like.
What our emotions and expressions should be modeled by.
We'll start with not to say things like 'kyke.' To start.
...

None shall ever know. Not even Them:
the ones who act so self assured. (with low scaled grunts
and lower hems and ahems.
...

Once these places are left-
One can't look back. As if one's head
had eyes behind their thighs and
Ears between their legs: As if the line:
...

Things exist only because they happen over and over again.
These habits start to imply as infinite that there is never an end.
And sole this measure absconded from what is otherwise unknown.
Shows face simply that it is a part of it.
...

...

They looked milk toasty and washed out -from that perspective,
in that proportioning to the hubbub of the day. Tacky and fake
from afar. I did not look closely. I did not see their exquisite brilliance.
And they are the most miraculous of the bunch. I came to the alter
...